Badass female of the week: Aly Nesson

“We have a designated date night every other Thursday,” Aly nonchalantly explained how she makes time for her husband, Brian, while juggling a demanding full-time career, graduate school, being a badass rock climber, and her other basic needs (like re-reading Harry Potter for the millionth time). Aly came into my life about two years ago, and we instantly bonded over our shared obsession with climbing and adventure, and our work in the international development field. She has, ever since, been an inspiration to me in what it means to be a strong woman.

I decided to start with Aly in my badass female blog series, partially because she was the only person whom I was confident would say yes, and because she endures challenges that are unique to women. Aly is the HR & Operations Manager at NGP VAN, a technology service provider for the Democratic party. She is also pursuing an MBA at the University of Maryland simultaneously. Both fields historically dominated by men.

Even with these impressive credentials, Aly notices setbacks that she and other women face due to their gender. When I asked her what being a woman meant to her, she said, “I struggle to find a way to answer that question because there is so much about being a woman I do not enjoy. Being a woman is annoying.” Something else we have bonded over. Exploring how to be strong, independent, soft, loving, confident (but not too confident), and feminine all at the same time. It wasn’t where I expected the conversation to go, I was trying to celebrate women after all, but I realized it is essential to showcase real life struggles, while also celebrating what we love about being female.

On top of a demanding schedule, Aly suffers from endometriosis, a painful disorder in which tissue grows outside of your uterus, often causing complications with fertility and discomfort during sex. It’s 2020, one may assume there’s a quick fix for that. Well, according to the University of Michigan Health Lab, research for endometriosis remains underfunded, which has “significantly limited our understanding of the disease, slowing progress in treatment”. What’s worse is that “more than half of endometriosis patients had been told by health care providers that nothing was wrong with them”. Now are you beginning to see why Aly is my female badass of the month and my SHEro?

“I hate that my body is punching me straight in the uterus each month to the point that some days I can barely walk. I hate that my male colleagues feel they can correct \ speak over \ ignore my work because they read an article in Forbes Magazine about HR and therefore are ‘experts’ on the subject. I hate that what I wear is something to be commented on. I hate that we still have to have this conversation.”

Aly and I have spent hours in the remote mountains of Kenya, country roads of Appalachia, and trails around the DMV area (where Aly lives) often discussing our triumphs and struggles of womanhood. During a recent hike, Aly and I vented our frustrations of how challenging it often can feel to be a woman: reproductive health, underfunded female-specific diseases, our pain often taken lightly, not being taken seriously in our professional life, having to prove ourselves in the climbing world…the list goes on. But there is also so much to be celebrated. “Despite [all of that], I love being a woman. My body is strong. I get to push and reinvent myself whenever I want. I love the connections that we, as women, make with one another. We are open. We share ourselves with one another on a much deeper level to form friendships that matter more than anything else. We support one another. We learn and grow and constantly overcome whatever bullshit is thrown in our path.”  

There’s something magical that happens when two women share a deep bond. All of you ladies out there will know what I mean. I knew this was going to be one of those friendships after Aly and I’s first ‘girls night out’ which included an evening of climbing at the gym, followed by Indian food and wine. My friend, Todd, once said to me, “I think a man somewhere in history must have conjured up a plan to hold women back, because he realized the power that women would have when empowered and working together.” I recently went to see Frozen 2 with my friends and their daughter. I love that Disney is finally portraying this story. Two badass ladies fighting for what they believe in, working together, not letting anything or anyone come between them. 

At the end of our conversation, Aly apologized for rambling and then caught herself, “And I hate that I just apologized… because why do we always fucking apologize?!” So, let’s all be more like Aly, Elsa, and Anna: love hard, work hard, play hard, and don’t fucking apologize for it.

You can follow Aly on Instagram at @alykaylieadventures.